In this exclusive free chapter from A Queen of a Charismatic Future, you’ll step into Hanna’s world—a woman standing at life’s crossroads, battling self-doubt, and searching for a way forward. As she struggles with uncertainty, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery that reveals a life-changing truth about fear.
This chapter is taken from the middle of the book, where the story and profound lessons intertwine, bringing a powerful message about resilience, courage, and the path to personal transformation. Through Hanna’s struggles, you’ll uncover deep insights into your own fears and learn how to break through limitations and step into your highest potential.
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Chapter 11
THE SIGNPOST FROM A DEAD-END STREET
Hanna went for a run that morning, like every other for the past two months. The cold March wind clung to her face, but after having run six miles, her body was blanketed by a pleasant warmth. First, she ran to Boston Harbor, where she usually did some jumping-jacks, pushups, and stretches, drank a cup of hot chocolate at the nearby canteen, then once again ran back home. But not that morning. That morning, the chocolate just didn't appeal to her. Instead of some sweet indulgence, she sat on the bench by the harbor and gazed out to sea. Running usually cleared her mind, but today, despite the freshness of the morning, there was a real hustle and bustle going on in her head. She was restless. She gazed out towards the harbor, where some brave sailboat owners were sailing out into the cold sea, trusting that they would also bring them safely back. She watched how the white sails so simply and easily cut into the air above the water's surface. "If only it were that easy," she said to herself.
She didn't know what she was doing wrong. She was looking for an answer in the vast Atlantic Ocean, which stretched out behind the airport that proudly stood before it. Over the past two months, she had completely changed her life, and convinced those hands, which Shanti spoke of, which were finally moving things on the clockface of her life. She began to take better care of herself; every morning she ran, she began to eat more healthily, and she even tried to meditate. She began to clean up after herself, her apartment was 'spic and span' the whole time, and she diligently did all she had to at the new restaurant she began working at after she was made redundant at the old one. And, she also changed most of her bad habits.
But something gave birth to more and more worries every single day - the fact that for two months there had been no response from the university. Finally, she sent a letter to the head of the university, requesting a position as an assistant for archeology, but hadn't received a response. Despite the fact that Mark wrote her a really good recommendation. She also sent dozens of e-mails to archaeological societies, museums, and similar organizations in several cities, even one three hundred miles away in New York, asking if there were any vacant positions for lecturers, researchers or even reporters, but all the replies that came back tore her soul to pieces, and were like the last one she received: "Dear Madam, thank you for your inquiry. We are currently not looking for any co-workers, but we will enter you in our database and will be happy to invite you to apply for a position when a suitable opportunity opens up."
She was really trying. In her spare time, she read about the well-known work of archaeologists and researchers, learned about all kinds of things that were at least slightly related to archeology, and even created a blog where she wrote down her findings and point of view. Nothing. She even created her own profile as a young archeologist on all possible social networks and started connecting with other people in the field. Nothing. She called journalists and newspapers to see whether she could write professional or even popular scientific articles. Nothing. She seemed to be wasting hours and hours a day on something which would never lead to blessing the fulfillment of her deepest desires. And now, everything was pointing to the fact that she was wasting her time on something that would never eventuate. She had nothing concrete in her hand. Nothing that would comfort her, letting her know that she was on the right track. She felt lost. And most of all, frightened. The signpost of life, like so many times before, had also this time led her down a dead end.
She was barely earning enough at the restaurant to cover her rent and food. At the end of the month, two-hundred, hard-fought dollars remained, which she had to carefully consider how to spend, if at all. While all of this was going through her head, she wasn't even aware that she had been sitting on a bench all drenched in sweat from the run for more than twenty minutes, and that she was seriously cold. The cold began to wrap itself around her, and she felt something else in her bones: Fear. What should she do if she doesn't succeed? It's one thing to have dreams, but to make them come true is really difficult, requiring an iron will. Yes, she wanted it more than anything, but she wondered if she would be able to make it at all. It seemed terribly difficult at times.
She started to cry. Warm tears streamed down her face, and at that moment, she felt like someone was missing in her life, to hug and reassure her that everything would be alright. She needed a friend, who's shoulder she could rest her head on. Far away on the horizon, a sailboat with a white sail was drifting along, all alone. It cut through the waves like it wasn't afraid of any lonely voyage. It left just a small trail behind it in the vast ocean.
Hanna felt just like that - alone in the middle of the big world. Absentmindedly staring out into the distance, she was suddenly awakened: "Wait a minute, once upon a time I felt that ... but where?"
Her brain forced the rusty wheels of her memory into action, and she began to search from where this déjà vu came: "Exactly! In Egypt, during the first weeks of the expedition. Exactly."
Her thoughts carried her away to the hot desert. She remembered how she walked away from it, a proud woman. "Well," she told herself, "if I could do it then, then I can do it now. My butterflies of transformation haven't yet said all they have to say."
Then, something else came to mind - a conversation with Mark. The memory of it became clearer and clearer, all until the fog of oblivion finally vanished. Word after word began to dance about in her mind, so vividly in fact that it seemed as if she was actually standing in front of him again and listening to the words he said to her on the last night of the expedition.
She couldn't believe how vividly she remembered him, and the echo, as real as she was herself, that told her: "And quite often, it’s determined by the person himself. I learned that I can rely on myself at any time, while everything else around me is subject to change."
It was only then that she realized what Mark had wanted to tell her, which then instilled in her a new desire and lit the almost extinguished fire of love for her own life. Although she hadn't understood things more than five minutes earlier, inside, she felt a touch better about herself. She still didn't know what she should change, but the energy within her once again lifted the head of the sleeping dragon of will and courage. She got up off the bench, almost thanked it for being her confidant for a moment, stretched a little, then ran back. The sun had already warmed the landscape, although Hanna's breath was still visible in the cold air as it exited her mouth. That day, she absentmindedly traveled the world of her thoughts. Usually, she liked to talk to the diners she was serving, but today she just stuck to the usual polite phrases, which gave her more time for what she had to learn.
In the evening, she came home tired, unaware that a number of guardian angels were hovering about her, enabling her to arrive home safely. Even though she had worked the whole day, the feelings she had from that morning still did not leave her. One part of her was still eager to work through and explore all the possibilities, while the other part was tired, not to mention scared, like never before. The memory of Mark's words gave her new hope, which was, however, constantly shattered by the truth that she was investing in work that she didn't want to invest in.
She put on her pajamas, went into the kitchen, and, five minutes later, slipped into bed with some hot chamomile tea. It was one of her favorite moments of the day - when she was finally able to close herself off from the world and hide in the safe refuge of her blanket. In the background, some relaxing, Tibetan bowl music was quietly playing, which, during recent weeks, she had been unwinding to after busy days, and to which she had all the more often fallen asleep. Despite having a few unresolved things in her mind and an uncomfortable feeling of fear in her muscles, her body began to relax and sink into a state of deep relaxation. The warm chamomile did what it does best, and the heavenly drink once again began to work its magic. Just like her mother used to say.
It was getting harder and harder to keep her eyes open. "Will I make it?" was the last question she asked herself as she said goodbye to the day, then put her empty cup on the nightstand, pulled the blanket up to her chin, and fell asleep.
Once again, her nostrils were aroused by the intoxicating scent of jasmine. Taking one step at a time, she walked down a paved path made of white stones, which wound around the Golden Temple, leading to a beautiful garden, encircled by breathtaking blue azaleas. Hanna looked around and knew she was around somewhere. The jasmine had given her away. And she really was. She was sitting on a golden bench at the end of the white path. Beautiful as ever. Shanti!
"Hello, Hanna!" Shanti said.
"Shanti!" Hanna said out aloud and ran to her like a child who had lost her mother in the crowd for a moment and then saw her again. "Oh, how I've missed you."
"How are you, my dear friend?" Shanti continued.
"What should I say ..." Hanna replied. "I don't know what I'm doing. I thought I was doing everything right, but the finish line is nowhere to be seen. And instead of the joy in fulfilling my dream, I feel doubts and fears."
"Ha, ha, ha," Shanti laughed, "I've heard that before. From myself. When I inherited the crown, the first few months were divine. I had everything I had ever wanted. People were nice to me and respected me, and I was even able to make almost all my wishes come true. I organized dinners, games, events for friends, and truly enjoyed my new position as Queen. The crown landed on my head like a bird from the sky.
Then came a period of difficult decisions - the kingdom was gripped by an epidemic, brought by merchant caravans from distant places, and war broke out between us and a country in the east, killing many people and devastating the treasury, so we had to raise taxes. All these things required me to make decisions that influenced other people's lives and their futures; decisions that were supposed to be the right ones. One day, I locked myself in my rooms and cried. Being Queen was not easy at all. I didn't believe I was capable, and I could have sworn that I heard the crown on my head cracking under the pressure. People expected wisdom from me and answers to their difficult questions, but my book of answers was suddenly full of blank sheets of paper. But then, things began to change, and I began to reign, full of strength and wisdom."
"How?" Hanna asked, her eyes wide open.
"Because I understood what was really going on. Not what I thought was going on, but what was actually going on, which are two completely different colors in the palette of life," explained the Ruler, calmly and convincingly.
_____
Dear Queen, life is made up of many different parts. Some people like them, others not so much. But those who don't, are of that opinion, not because they don't understand, which doesn't mean that they are worse or even unnecessary, but because they don't have the right information about them.
I also have doubts and fears in my mind. Yes, the darkest energies which a person can attract into his life, and which are then embraced, usually darkens it. Bright hopes and dreams turn vibrant colors into shades of gray, the future no longer looks so bright and colorful, which are brought about by the doubts and fears from your dreams - if you don't understand them. However, if you do understand them, they can be your two best friends who can help you build the future, exactly as you want it. You're probably now thinking, in disbelief, "Fear and doubt as a friend? No, thanks, I've got enough of those." This kind of thinking is very common, and at the same time, many smart women never find their way to their crown, and never reach the level of excellence in their lives that they're capable of. Many women around the world are scared and worried, simply because they don't see the bigger picture. But like any strong woman who wants to make her dream come true, you also deserve an insight into the heart of everything that is going on. It's time that you understand what doubt and fear are, and how they can help you.
All true dreams are powerful and valuable. They fill a person with love and hope. Dreams exist to stimulate people's desire for progress and development. A man who makes his dream come true is happy and fulfilled. The best thing in all this is the new insights he learns along the way. Which is also the primary purpose of dreams. Most people think dreams exist to bring new cars, new jobs, health, travel around the world, and money, etc. into their lives. Actually, they're not. Dreams are really never really about that; those things are just a wonderful addition at the end of the journey. A nice extra reward for all the effort. The real results of dreams that have been reached are something else - the realization of oneself: A strong character that the dreamer develops along the way, the solid and pure values he forms, and the insights into the depths through which he must go if he wants to express himself the best, etc. This is what the soul seeks out during the experience of what we call on Earth 'The Realization of Dreams.' Many of the women I've worked with, came face-to-face with the true purpose of their journey for the first time, during my workshops. Once they understood what they were really looking for, they were simply able to face up to, and deal with, all their difficult ordeals.
So, it's about experiencing. Experiencing everything. The good and the 'not so good.' What do I mean by 'the not so good'? Already a millennia ago, people determined that the only things that are pleasant are those that are good and desirable, for example: Feelings of happiness, love, joy, acceptance, enthusiasm, etc., and for some reason, they began to reject all other feelings, such as, for example: Doubts, fears, disappointment, anger, etc., which have always been avoided and even labeled as bad and unwanted. Because they simply didn't understand why they were important. But know the following - unpleasant feelings are just as important as pleasant ones. Why? Because it's only the presence of all emotional aspects that we're able to see the complete and true picture of a person and the circumstances in which he finds himself. Only then can we find out who we are and understand what we are truly capable of.
Sunrise
If you want to understand your 'light,' then you also have to understand your 'dark.' How do you know if something is good if you don't know what's bad? How can the day begin if there was no night before? A day without a night would not even be a day. How can you know what faith is, if you've never doubted it? To understand all things, both aspects are necessary, just like the light and the dark. Even though most people reject the dark, they learn the fastest in it. It's easy to work 'in the sun' - it's warm, and everything is clear. Working in the dark is a little different because it demands that you work harder. A lot of things that are taken for granted in the light, no longer exist in the dark. The dark no longer offers you a clear picture, so you have to adapt to it somehow, to continue on working. This means that you're somehow 'forced' to develop those parts of you that you would not need to develop in the light. The dark requires that you learn to act differently; that you learn new rules. Because that's the only way you can survive in it. Only in this way you can light a fire that will keep you warm so that you can hold out until morning when the sun will shine again on your life and give you your light.
And when morning does come, you'll be different. Your outlook on things will be different, your strength will be different, and your confidence will be different. Everything about you will be different. Stronger. The night will polish you, sharpen you, and awaken the best in you. I know a woman who, as she put it herself, had many 'dark nights of the soul.' Sometimes, it seemed as if her life was nothing but darkness, without any light. A loss of health. Bankruptcy. The death of her mother. An attempt at suicide. A few years of pure darkness, surrounded the energies of fear, doubt, disappointment, etc. Then dawn came. And with tired eyes, she saw the glow for the first time in a long time. But that was when she was strong. What made her a winner was not the day, but the dark, cold night. And from that moment onwards, she has been able to appreciate and enjoy life. That woman is my wife.
And now a question for you. Is a night, full of fears and doubts still 'bad'? Or is it perhaps a blessing that can help you become what you're truly capable of becoming, looking at things from a different perspective? Decide for yourself. But don't forget that a day without night does not exist.
PAIN - FRIEND OR FOE?
The wisest leaders know their nights. They know their fears and doubts and also understand them, which gives them the power to accomplish whatever it is they want. And so, they're unstoppable. Yes, doubts and fears are important. Exactly the same as courage and faith.
FOR EXAMPLE: You want to feel good in your body, right? You probably don't like it when something hurts. Then comes the physical pain, which ends that period of feeling good. Or did the pain come as a friend, rather than as an enemy? You know that pain is uncomfortable. You know you want to get rid of it as soon as possible. What then, is pain? A friend who lets you know that something is not quite right in your body, as a reminder that you have to do something better. That's what pain really is - a blessing from the Universe that helps you become better.
People don't know how to cope with their doubts and fears because they fill them with emotional and even physical pain. Because they instinctively want to avoid pain, they instinctively avoid doubts and fears. But they can't escape them. Doub and fears are the basic building blocks of every person's emotional system. They can't be removed, just as you can't remove your gut from your body. It's simply a part of you. And a part of you is also doubt and fear.
So, dear Queen, it's time to open your doors wide and invite your doubts and fears in for coffee and cookies; take the time to get to know them and accept them, which will lead you to a better understanding of yourself. The better you understand yourself, the freer you’ll become.
Fears
EGO - THE BLACKSMITH OF FEAR
Some human behavior is really simple: For example, that you're not afraid of things you understand and vice-versa, that the things you don't understand, create feelings of fear inside you. Why? Because of ego. When you embody yourself in your life, you develop a kind of system - a 'lower self' that helps you to adapt and survive in your new environment. Ego's first task, in other words, the 'lower self,' is to protect you from anything that might endanger or hurt you. Ego's second task is to provide you with information about your environment, based upon which you make decisions.
As a baby, you didn't have a developed ego. Simply because you had no experience of the world you were born into. So, you didn't know how to recognize real danger. But then you started to experience things and found out that some of these things are useful to you, while others are harmful. So, you started to develop some unpleasant feelings, including fears, in relation to those things which hurt you. Over time, however, your ego began to gain importance in your life. You began to move away from your soul and follow your ego more and more because it had the necessary information for you about 'how' and 'what.' Your ego grew stronger, and it became an increasing source of information for you.
However, the ego is very 'egoistic.' If it becomes really powerful, it wants to rule over all other systems. And so, it usually acknowledges only what it already knows, that is, what you've already experienced. It protects itself from all other and unknown things by ensuring that you don't touch them or bother them. This makes you fearful of them. If you think back, you'll realize that over time, you've developed and acquired more and more fears. Therefore, adults have more fears than children. Because their egos are more developed, which then try to turn them away from the things they don't know. That’s why people are afraid of things unknown.
"FIGHT OR FLIGHT"
The ego is basically a very good thing. In fact, it's your very good friend - if you understand it. If you don't, it can turn from a good friend into an annoying grump. As a friend, it helps you stay alive and unharmed. Who do you think triggers a responsive reaction when you accidentally touch something that you shouldn't on the hotplate? Your ego. It's developed a defense system we call 'fight or flight,' which simply means that when your ego senses danger, your body physiologically adjusts in an instant to be ready to fight, or to escape from that danger. That's when your heart rate increases, blood circulates throughout your body and fills your muscles in your arms and legs, enabling you to fight, or run away. In other words: So, you can stay alive.
The feelings that arise within the body are what we've called 'fears.' In the past, when there were still predators that were a threat to humans, this was great. With fears, our egos made sure we weren't eaten by 'dinosaurs.' These days, this same ego response protects you so that, for example, at the last moment, you get out of the way of the roof tile which the wind has lifted from the roof, or the car, whose driver has lost control and is hurtling towards you. But these days, there are no dinosaurs around, nor are there so many life-threatening situations. But our egos are still with us, and they still do their job. Unfortunately, most people, most of the time, do themselves a disservice. Why? Because it no longer tries to protect them from justified dangers, but also from unjustified ones.
Look at how it works: The ego wants to protect its protector from danger, in this case, you. And what's the danger for it? Everything it doesn't know. Because of all the things it already knows, it doesn't need to worry because it knows they're no longer dangerous as it already has some experience about them. It knows how to survive around them. The challenge, however, is in the new things it doesn't yet have in its memory, or the things it knows nothing about. New things that happen ... for the first time. That's why you're afraid when you start achieving your goals and dreams. Your soul wants something new, and it wants new experiences that'll bring new meaning. New dreams and goals, however, require new approaches, new people, and different actions - all things that your ego has no information about. Therefore, they're perceived as potential danger. Therefore, it preventatively triggers fear. But, in the vast majority of cases, it does so totally unjustified. This fear, in many people, is so intense that they stop and never end up realizing their dreams. The ego honestly wanted to help, but because people didn't understand what was really going on, they gave up on their dreams rather than face their fears and therefore understand it.
A lot of women, all around the world, are terrified of apparent fears. But often, this apparent energy becomes real. A frightened woman always makes decisions that are built around circumstances that only confirm her fear. And so, a frightened woman usually forms a relationship with a partner she consciously or subconsciously fears, starts a job where she faces challenges that scare her and acts so that she is more susceptible to injuries and disasters, which only add to the confirmation that the world around her, is really dangerous ...
And now Queen, a question for you. Do you want to live in fear? A world not driven by fear is far more charismatic and beautiful than one that is. Understand that you, too, deserve peace and a life that will encourage you, not frighten you. So, it may be time to talk about your fears and deal with them. May they help you fulfill your dreams, not the other way around. It may be that in the beginning, your fear appears to be truly frightening or even scary and facing it might even shake you up. But when you look behind the veil of your ego, you realize that the truth is completely different; most of all, it's very bright.
THE VEIL OF THE EGO
It's all about some kind of invisible headgear that you have either worn yourself, or that's worn by some others to hide the truth from those who seek it; that is, from yourself. The best way for your ego to stop you is to deprive you of hope when you need it the most. When you work, you grow, you make decisions, and you look for solutions. That's why it's important for you to understand when it's day and when it's night. Closing yourself off to a windowless room during the day and turning off the light doesn't mean that it's nighttime. You already know how to act when fear legitimately protects you from life's dangers. It's written in your cells. That's when you respond instinctively. But it's important to know how to act when you're overwhelmed by fear that's not real. Fear, which in truth is … veiled by your ego.
So, how do you remove the veils from your ego and deal with the fear?
1. Calm yourself down and accept it.
Fear is a part of you. So, accept it and relax. Admit that you're scared. We live in a rather strange society, which says that it's weak to show that you're afraid, that's why so many people try to hide it. Outwardly, they show that they're strong, while inwardly they're shaking. But everyone who has a heart feels fear. It's one of the most basic emotions there is, and there's no heroine around who doesn't feel it. It has scared presidents, Olympic champions, and even rock stars ... so, you've also got the right to be scared. Because it's human. People are sometimes afraid. And you're a person. So, you, too, can be scared. So, never try a suppress your fear, because you can't. Instead, allow yourself to be scared, and it's right to do this. The moment you accept the fact that you might be scared, you'll be able to calm down, and then more than half of all the unpleasant sensations in your body, and even your mind, will subside.
Once, a woman came to me for counseling because of her 'fears', after having found out that her husband was cheating on her. She was totally lost. You could even see it on her face that she didn't know what to do. Her husband was her first and only love; she never thought about other men, nor did she want anyone else. When she found out what was going on, she was crushed. She felt like a bird that had had its wings broken. She was scared. Very scared. She didn't know what was going to happen - whether they would break up, how the children would accept it, what they would do with the house, whether she could ever trust again, etc.
For the first thirty minutes, she just cried. It seemed that she had found herself in a flood of fears. If she wanted to find her way out from it, she had to let herself go. It was time for her to recognize all her emotions. And, in the next hour, we did exactly that - raising the awareness of her fears, talking about them, and even writing them down. At the end of the session, she was quite calm and even smiled at me. She no longer had that uncomfortable feeling in her chest, and she was able to speak normally. Because she no longer resisted her fears, they no longer pressured her, and she could breathe more freely. Even though it was just the beginning of her journey, she was at least calm enough to deal with her situation.
2. Find out what your fear is telling you.
Fear is an emotion and just one of many. You have emotions so that you can perceive the world around you on other levels, not just at the level of the mind. Emotions provide you with valuable information about yourself and the world around you. Fear, also. If you understand what fear is able to teach you, you can become one of the most powerful rulers out there. Its teachings are extremely valuable, so much so that they can even decide if you'll become a Queen or a slave. They determine if you'll be happy, or if you won’t.
That's why it's so important that you learn how to recognize what the fear you're feeling is really telling you. In most cases, it's that you don't know anything about the matter, or the person. So, it's now your job to round up all the necessary information and insights regarding the circumstances or the people who are causing it. Explore. Ask. Delve deeper.
Some advice: Sometimes, you'll find it difficult to think objectively under the circumstances, as your system of judgment will be filled with fear. So then, it makes things even more objective. Imagine seeing yourself through the eyes of a friend. In that way, you'll see things far more objectively.
When the lady, whose husband was cheating on her, found out at our next session what her fears were telling her, she was more than surprised. They told her she was heavily dependent on other people, especially her husband. She was afraid she wouldn't be able to survive emotionally, or financially, without him, so, of course, she was scared. Because she was aware of the consequences of divorce. Her fear told her that she had to take responsibility for her emotional stability and her financial independence.
3. Replace fear with action.
One of the best things about fear is that the more you act, the less you're afraid. And vice versa, of course. Energy triggers action, which is the opposite of fear, and usually stops it. That's why we often say that fear paralyzes you.
This lady really wanted to sort her life out, so she immediately rolled up her sleeves. She started looking for a job where she had long-term prospects for promotion, and she took up playing sports. As she herself said, she found that she was 'hanging' onto her husband too much. So, she made a conscious decision to start taking charge of her life and deciding on everything related to it. It seemed as if she somehow had to grow up. At first, it was quite difficult for her, but eventually her confidence began to grow, which in turn made her more and more emotionally independent and bold in her decisions.
At this point, she canceled our sessions for a while. It was only after about a month that she called me. When she next showed up at my door, there stood a completely 'different' woman than the one I had first met. When I asked her how she was, she replied, "I've got so much work to do on myself that I don't even have time to think about my husband." She was half-joking, but there was also a lot of truth in what she said. Because of all the things she had going on, there simply wasn't enough time for her to be thinking about her fears. She realized that activating and using her creative energy relaxed her. She also told me during our session that she was thinking of going back to school.
There were so many of these activities that it even crossed my mind that she wanted to run away from her actual situation, that is, the unresolved relationship with her husband. When I mentioned this to her, she replied, "Right now, I'm not prepared to discuss his infidelity with him. I feel that what's important right now is that I do what I'm doing." I listened to her and realized she was right. She had been harnessing her strength and was becoming more and more sure of herself, every day. The fear in her eyes was slowly disappearing. As a matter of fact, I admired her how strongly she was able to focus on herself. If you've ever loved, you know how much energy you send to the other person in a relationship. For her, however, it seemed as if the part of herself that had taken care of her marriage had simply been switched off, at least for some time, and that then she was devoting herself to that other part that had been asleep for years and years, which was then starting to awaken and that would turn her into a ruler. All this was going on because she had taken the initiative to become active.
4. Use tricks to focus better.
Magical tricks? If you can cast a spell, you can also do these. But the tricks and things I've got in mind will 'trick' your mind into focusing on the right things and positive things. When you're confronted with fear, it's very important to keep your mind positively balanced. Fear in itself triggers negative feelings and thoughts that you sometimes have to deal with. But the easiest way to deal with them is to replace them. To make sure that strong, positive thoughts and feelings find their way into your energy. As a human being, you're unable to feel conflicting emotions at the same time. You can't possibly feel fear and peace at the same time. Either you feel one or the other. So, stop focusing on eliminating fear in your life, but on attracting joy and all the associated energy that goes with it. In this way, fear will only be able to stand by and observe how you go on a merry-go-round of joy and happiness.
How to do that? When you feel scared, fill your thoughts and emotions with beautiful things:
· Smile. As soon as you do this, cellular memories of joy and happiness are activated inside of you. As a result, serotonin (the happiness hormone), dopamine (the feel-good hormone) and endorphins (pleasure hormones) are released. Once activated, your whole body responds to them, which in turn changes your perceptions, your feelings, and your thoughts. Yes, a smile is much stronger than you think. So much so that it can even bring the strongest fears to its knees
Play some relaxing music. It’ll lower your cortisol (the stress-producing hormone) so that you can begin to calm down. Calmness is just the opposite of total fright, wouldn't you agree?
· Dance, and have fun while doing it. Movement activates your muscles. Muscle fibers are the most susceptible to the accumulation of fear. That's why most people experience the most uncomfortable feelings of fear in their stomachs and thighs. By stretching and moving, you activate these muscles, which, in turn, change the energy and, as a result, remove the fear created stress.
5. Surround yourself with the brave.
Do you know why people love hanging out with each other so much? Because they share their experiences, thoughts, emotions, energy, and… fears with each other. Yes, you've learned about fears. From people who have had and still have a huge impact on your life. As you may have already come to realize, babies don't have a lot of fear. They're not afraid of the dark, of snakes, of people they don't know, of a lack of things, or of thousands of other fears that prevent us, adults, from living to the full.
But, wouldn't you know, twenty or even thirty years later, a fearless baby grows up and turns into an adult woman who's no longer fearless. All of a sudden, she's afraid of the dark, of snakes, of a lack of things, etc. ... but why? Because they taught her to be afraid. Parents, teachers, and some other important individuals raise children and teach them how to live, survive, and succeed. But in addition to a lot of well-intended advice, they inadvertently pass on their fears to them. That's how kids somehow take it on. Not only in their childhood but later on, when they're adults.
You can't choose your parents and teachers, at least from the way we see things down here on Earth. But you can choose your partner, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. Choose them wisely. Why? Because they'll transmit their energy to you when you socialize with them, including their fear-based energy. That's why it's important that you're surrounded by people who dare to dream, who are active in pursuing their dreams, and who have goals that they achieve. Of course, even these people aren’t without fears; they have them just like everyone else, but they understand them and overcome them. Because of this, they'll rarely project their fears upon you, if at all. They'll usually help you to understand and resolve them. However, if you're surrounded by people who have no dreams and who aren't proactive, you run the risk of adopting their way of thinking, occupied by their demons. Because fear is most easily fueled by fear, such people will inadvertently (or even intentionally) awaken in you ... fear. Consequentially, over time, not only will they be frightened, but you will too. How do you recognize them? They're usually complaining and blaming the world around them. And most of all, things aren't going the way they would like them to in their lives.
During our session, the lady who was on her path to awakening was quiet the whole time. When I asked her if she was okay, she said she was simply thinking about the people she spent time with - her best friend was just as scared as she was, just like her mom. What worried her most was that she seemed to be passing on her frightened way of life to her younger daughter, whom she thought up until that point was just a little shy and introverted, but then realized that in fact, she was scared. As was her own 'little girl. ' Only then did she realize how great an impact fear had on her life. That was the point when this lady started to change with lightning speed - she seemed to have woken a protective bear within her who wanted to make sure her cub was safe.
6. Accept information that supports your dream.
Today's world is full of information. Thousands upon thousands of terabytes of data are generated every day. Changes are happening all around the world, reported on by TV, newspapers, internet media, and books, etc. The extremely influential media serves the public a lot of nice information, but unfortunately, even more messages which intimidate. They don't give hope to most people, but fear. That's why it's important, dear Queen, to break free from the negative messages. It's extremely difficult to maintain a vision of dreams and motivation if you're "bombarded" every day with images of disasters, wars, manipulation, and other dispiriting things.
Many systems of influence have found fear to be an excellent tool for controlling the masses, so they make good use of it. Decades and decades of intimidation have resulted in the subconscious of most people being filled with fear. They have it written in their DNA.
That's why fear sells so easily. People are interested because they have it in them. When they see those messages, they are basically confirming themselves. But their path leads them downwards.
You, my dear, are going upwards. You need messages that'll give you wings and carry you up to the clouds, right where your dreams are. You need information that'll help you create a better tomorrow and will fill you with positive energy. Some will tell you that this kind of thinking isn't realistic and that you need to know what's going on in the world. It's true that it's good to know the world around you, but you don't have to take on the fears of others that are a part of this information. Fears, which again, are not yours. To do this, you need quality based media (books, websites, movies, etc.) that'll provide you with clean information without unnecessary emotional clutter. Look for them. You'll recognize them because their influence will energize you and help you strengthen your hope and happiness.
Oh yeah, you want to know what happened to that lady? Only nice things. She's proof, yet again, that the Universe supports you in ways that are favorable to you, but only if you act. She and her husband resolved their marriage. Her husband was running away from her, because, for the past ten years, she was no longer the girl he had fallen in love with. She had become a dependent and passive woman who hung onto him and choked him the whole time. However, after the challenge that came into their lives, she was forced to face up to herself. She had to take responsibility for herself and once again become the person she actually was - joyful, happy, and courageous. The changes she made very quickly showed her another reality, as a few months later, her husband invited her to dinner, where they apologized to each other - he, because he ran away, and she, because she had let herself go already many years before and given in. It was time for a fresh start. Together.
FEAR IS AN INDICATION THAT YOU HAVE A DREAM!
By now, you have come to know many of the positive roles that fear plays, but now it's time to get to know another - fear is an invaluable indicator of dreams. Where there's fear, there are also dreams and desires. Fear never appears in people who are not active or in people who don't have any dreams. Why would it? It won't stop them from doing anything. Fear only appears in those that dream. So, be proud of yourself if you have fears. Because it means you want to move forward, to seek an even better version of yourself, to earn more. If you don't have any fears in your life, then it means only one thing - that you're not living. Do you know who's not afraid? Bodies in the pathology department. That's why you never want to live a life without fear. They can be so scary and horrible, but they'll always remind you of one thing - that you're a person who makes your dreams come true.
A Period Of Suspicious Demons
Every Queen on her path sooner or later finds herself in doubt. That's when all her inner demons awaken in all their grandeur, bombarding her with thousands of reasons why she won't succeed. They touch everything: Her dreams, her courage, and even affect her by triggering physical fatigue within her. Her thoughts become confused, and her image of the future becomes blurred. All this just to take away her hope.
Doubt is a silent killer. In the beginning, it looks rather small and insignificant. It appears as a fleeting thought: "What if it doesn't work ... and what if I don't succeed ..." and then it slowly anchors itself into your thinking and begins to change it. Whenever it hits, hope is diminished, just a little…
In the beginning, it's hardly noticeable … until, over time, her whole mind has been taken over. And doubt slowly begins to eat away at every new idea, all until she gives in and loses hope for the future. Many women have had dreams, but they gave up on them because they were cloned under the pressure of doubt. Queen, it's time to find out what doubt really is. It's not what you think it is. Doubt can be, like fear, an extraordinary friend. "You doubt that?" Ha, haha. See how quick it is?
Doubt is, in fact, the Universe testing you to see if you really want to fulfill your dreams. We all know that life has its ups and downs. It's very easy to live and be active when you're on your way up when you're on top. But, what happens if you fall to the bottom for some reason? Nothing special, I would say; that's just a part of life. Yes, most people think like that. Until they fall to the ground. However, once they're on the ground and their knees are covered in blood, many of them don't get up again. They begin to doubt whether they can actually get up. They don't trust themselves or their inner strength. But life will only reward you when you prove you deserve it. When, despite your doubts, you get up and move on. Every winner, every entrepreneur, every mom, and every woman have at some point, doubted whether she was able to. Or, if she would be able to do it right. Or if she would succeed. And some do, while some don't. It worked for those who understood doubt. There are thousands of rulers in the world who have overcome doubt. Where do you find them? Usually, they're standing on the steps of the podium and are being awarded medals in sports competitions, on the stage for receiving diplomas at universities, or on the stage for moms where their children have put them…
I once spoke to an elderly lady who runs a marathon every year. She was sixty-five years old, and for the past twenty-two years, she had run a marathon every single year. "That's interesting," I thought and asked her if it was her birthday present to herself. Her response was amazing. She said: "As long as I can run a marathon for my birthday, I know I can do anything that year, and I don't have anything to doubt. After all, there aren't so many things which require such a high degree of physical and psychological fitness. If I start doubting myself about anything, I just say, 'Well, my beautiful, don't complicate things. You just ran a marathon.' And then the marathon woman in me wakes up in an instant. And keeps running."
TWO STEPS TO FRIENDSHIP WITH DOUBT:
1. Reframe your thoughts.
Most women are cloned by doubt because they notice it a little too late, usually only when it has already taken over their entire lives. And so, it's necessary to take action as soon as doubt arises, just like it is with all other challenges. The longer something grows, the bigger and harder it is to remove. It's your job to pay attention to all your cynical, sarcastic, and pessimistic thoughts, which are the perfect food for doubt. If you recognize them, you can also remove them. If you deprive a plant of what it needs to grow, it dries up.
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Thoughts and words that build doubt
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Thoughts and words that build dreams
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If I … I hope that … I'll never succeed ... Well, it's not so bad ... I'm not good enough ... |
I'll ... I know that … I'm looking for a way to succeed ... It could be even better ... I can become anything I want… |
2. Create a result - take action.
Results are the chief destroyers of doubts. Doubt increases the most when you're active but aren't achieving any results. If you want to reduce the amount of doubt, create some results. Even the smallest win works. In the same way, that acetone works on nail polish - it dissolves it. Have you ever noticed that the more successful you are, the less you doubt? Set a smaller goal and make it happen. It's important that you see progress and proof so that you can successfully walk your own path.
Queen, your charismatic future is getting closer. Bit by bit, you're building it up so that you can, in it, reign proudly like a Ruler who's fearless and free of doubt. Allow yourself to experience all of its aspects on your journey, because only in this way will you be able to truly understand yourself and the world.
"A day without night simply doesn't exist."
(Michael Zetta King)
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Hanna opened her eyes and had to blink repeatedly, for the sun had already found its way to shine on her face.
"Oh, my God … I'm late! If the sun was already shining through the window, it meant that it had to be already … eight?" she quickly calculated, adding water to the stream of her exasperation. "Work! I can't be late! Not now!" feverish thoughts quickly awakened her.
She jumped out of bed and rushed to the bathroom. Her heart was beating wildly as she nervously brushed her teeth. She quickly smoothed down her hair, almost ran to the wardrobe, and impatiently demanded her pants to find their way onto her body all by themselves. She could feel the tingling of fear quickly spreading through her muscles.
"Oh my God," she repeated, "they're going to fire me."
The message from last week's staff meeting echoed through her head, when Boris, the restaurant manager, made it clear that they could be late. Just once. And, if it happened again, there'd be no point in going back, as there'd be nothing to go back to. Their position would be taken by someone else with a more reliable alarm clock and a greater sense of responsibility. Fortunately, this was the first time for Hanna, but the feeling was still frightening. She couldn't afford to lose her job.
Half an hour later, she was already at the restaurant. She quickly changed into her uniform and walked over to Boris's office. It was empty.
"He's not in," her coworker said. "He called earlier and said he'd be a little late because some things came up that he had to take care of.
"Don't worry, I won't tell," she winked in a friendly kind of way. "Otherwise, you wouldn't end up being here for very long," she smiled, heading toward the kitchen.
"Jane, wait a minute! What do you mean I wouldn't be here for very long?" Hanna asked fearfully. "Do you know something I should know? Did Boris say anything about me?"
"No, silly ..." Jane reassured her. "Nobody said anything. It's just that I've got a feeling. Simply ... that you're far too smart to be stuck here. And you've got that spark in your eyes that people with dreams have." Then she went.
Hanna just stood there. "Do I really?" she asked herself and for a moment allowed herself a moment of pride. It rushed through her body and was a lot more than a momentary blessing sent by the Universe through her friend. It left a fiery trail of hope in her from which something began to awaken - a Phoenix, spreading her wings, marking her birth once again ...
A beautiful smile spread over Hanna's face. "Thank you, Jane," she quietly thanked her. "Thank you for your hope."
And the signpost of life showed her the way out from the dead-end street.
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