In this exclusive free chapter from A Hero of a Charismatic Future, you’ll step into the life of Lucas, a successful entrepreneur who had it all—and lost it all. Now, he strives to rebuild his life by redefining what responsibility truly means. This chapter unveils profound insights into the essence of true responsibility and explores why many men grapple with embracing it.
This chapter is taken from the middle of the book, where the story and profound lessons intertwine, delivering a powerful message about recognizing and building responsibility, as well as the illusions many men adopt when they try to avoid taking responsibility for their lives. Through Lucas’s struggles, you’ll uncover deep insights into the male ego, how it operates in relation to responsibility, and how to position yourself if you want to rule your world.
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The full book contains more inspiring stories, transformational teachings, and empowering insights to help you step into your own charismatic future.
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Chapter 6
A PRINCE OR A KING
He got to like it. It. Meditation. But he felt that the time had come to once again faithfully return back to his old love. The next morning, Lucas once again headed off up the mountain. He gratefully accepted the relaxation, which nourished his muscles, but at the same time was aware that there was a far greater reason as to why he had actually gone there. To find the old man from the woods. In the beginning, he was just some pain in the butt from the woods, but now he had grown to like him and could almost say that he felt …. friendship .... for him? After all, he awoke something within him, which had been dormant for a long time, or had actually even died.
And this time around, he found him in a place where he usually didn’t. Even that changed. There was no more routine. Even the old man had to know that. He waited for Lucas at the top of the mountain, and was sitting under a tree, gazing out, deep into the valley below. Lucas’s arrival awoke him from his state, and he cheerfully greeted him:
“Good morning, Lucas.”
“Good morning, also to you too, wise man.”
The old man smiled: “Wise?”
“Yes. I came to apologize for my behavior. I realized that your coming into my life was a gift.”
And he couldn’t wait to tell him. About his new life. About him meditating. How his mother-in-law no longer despised him. How his daughter trusted him and told him all about her life, which was just about to enter puberty. About how, after a long time, Mina squeezed his hand, which brought back hope for their love. About how his co-workers, whom he so brutally fired, came back and forgave him.
“All because of you,” he added.
The wise man replied quietly, “Because of you, Lucas. No one really ever changes for someone else. Change has long been calling you. But it was you who really answered its call. I just reminded you that fate calls when you’ve listened to everything, except its call. It welcomes you with the assurance that you’ll now be able to take care of your family.”
“Take care of your family ...” Lucas repeated softly, with tears in his eyes that slowly, like dark clouds before a storm, were gathering in his eyes.
The old man looked at him and said, “What’s the matter, Lucas? Why are you crying?”
That was a question that no one had ever asked him before. And the reason was that Lucas had never actually cried before. But the tears were slowly overflowing, and the mask of a powerful man was being washed away like cheap mascara under a stream of water.
Lucas looked at the old man and was barely able to regain his composure as he replied: “I don’t know if I’ll be able to …. it’s just too much. Up until now, I’ve only taken care of the company, which I was good at. Mina took care of the house, Linna, and everything else. Now she’s sick. I’m scared. The doctors aren’t able to tell me how things are going to turn out. And then there’s Linna. I can see she’s really intelligent. But there’s no bond between us, even though I’m trying really hard. I haven’t got a time machine, and truth has come knocking at my door. I almost haven’t been a part of her life. Only now have I learned that her favorite color is heavenly blue. And that she’s got so many things to do for school. There’s always something she has to do. The company wants me there, Mina needs me there, Linna needs me there. And a thousand things have to be done. I don’t know if I’ll be able to .... I’d almost rather lock myself in my office, turn off my phone and be simply unreachable. Only in my office do I feel free, and at peace. Everything else doesn’t seem to let me breathe, and I feel like I’m drowning. But, at the same time, a special happiness has been awoken within me. As a matter of fact, I really can’t explain it.”
The old man waited for Lucas to get some much-needed air, and then he had, as usual, a new question for him: “Lucas, what would you rather be, a king or a prince?”
Surprised, Lucas’s tears seemed to stop for a moment while he racked his brain, trying to find any connection between the old man’s question and his rather emotional account of events. The old man didn’t give in, but just repeated the question: “So, choose, a king or a prince?”
Without thinking about it too much, Lucas said, “Aren’t they the same?”
The old man smiled, “Not even close. It’s true that they both live in a court and that both have access to the royal vault. But, there’s one big difference: A prince can live a carefree life because the kingdom doesn’t depend on him. The king, however, has a great deal of responsibility on his shoulders, as he has to make the right decisions about the welfare of his whole kingdom and its inhabitants. The difference between a prince and a king is that the king accepts his responsibility, which gives him the power to make decisions and hold the ruler’s scepter in his hand, while the prince simply lives at the expense of others and under their conditions. But the real difference between them is that the king is a man, and the prince is just a boy. So, Lucas, what do you prefer, to be a Prince or a King?”
Lucas thought in silence. He was aware that it was one of those questions that could change your life. And it was, of course, based on the right answers. He sensed that he could only sort his life out if he began behaving like .... a man. Like a King. At that moment, he turned his gaze to the sky, through which the clouds floated about like little wonders of nature. One of them, in particular, had a very particular shape. He could have sworn it looked like a crown.
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A PRINCE
Quite a romantic metaphor, wouldn’t you say? The image of a handsome young man in a silk suit immediately came to mind, and of a servant offering him fresh fruit on a silver platter, while he peered out from the top of his palace through a large crystal window. He had a brass bell within reach, and by ringing it, his horse was saddled and ready to carry him on his back for a ride around the King’s Lakes, which extended out beyond the woods on the other side of the palace. And all such privileges were inaccessible to ordinary mortals, only because his daddy was important.
Prince no. 1: A MUMMY’S BOY
Then the alarm clock rang. And the image of the prince in his dreams disappeared. From the kitchen, the voice of a tired mother, who had just returned from the store, could be heard: “Sweetie, get up! It’s ten o’clock.” Reluctantly, he gets out of bed and asks himself where his golden robe has gone. With a puffy face and wrinkled pajamas, he sits down at the kitchen table, onto which his Mom places a plate of fried eggs and toast in front of him. There’s no silver tray with fresh berries and grapes anywhere. “But this isn’t so bad,” he thinks and begins eating his rather late breakfast. When he finishes, he thinks about what he’s going to do. He’ll probably take another look at the last season of Game of Thrones. As the evening approaches, his journey is awoken by his mother’s call to come to dinner. “Maybe this time I’ll get it on a silver platter,” he muses to himself, dreamily. But again, he’s mistaken. Deep-fried cheese and French fries await him. He munches away while feeling a little guilty at the same time because his doctor told him that for a forty-one-year-old, his cholesterol was a little on the high side. But he soon relaxes, as his mommy would make him some green tea, which would probably dissolve it all away.
The world is full of men like this. Society has a particular term for them - Mommy’s boys. Creatures that have stretched out their childhood, three times as long as they should have. Peter Pans, who never want to grow up. Guys who think they have ownership rights to their mother’s breasts. But let’s be honest, Hero, being a mommy’s boy is really not cool. Not only is a man like this most likely to remain a virgin until he retires, but one day his mother is going to go to her grave, and then he’ll have an enormous problem. So, it’s time for these guys to break free from their parents, to be left to breathe and live their own lives, and to free their parasite infested butts.
Because when they’re thirty or even older and are still living at home in a room next to their parent’s bedroom, driving their father’s car, which their mother fills up with gas, eating lunch, which miraculously finds itself on the table every day, and burdening their mothers with questions like if their t-shirt has been washed, etc., then these are mommy’s boys. I know they’re not proud of being called that, but unfortunately, facts are facts. And, it’s time for them to understand that it was their parent’s job to give birth to them, and then wait for them to grow up. And nothing more. I don’t think they even wanted to worry about them their whole lives. It’s just as well they weren’t born as baby eagles because eagles tend to push their young out of the nest at a certain age, and whether they like it or not, they have to learn to fly.
Hero, if you’re a mommy’s boy, it’s time to roll up your sleeves and get rid of that ‘label.’ I know that finding your feet is one of the hardest things in life to do, but you have to believe that you can do it. I believe in you!
Prince no. 2: A WIFE’S LITTLE BOY
Every now and then, some parents finally manage to get rid of their 30-year-old puppy (well, let’s be honest - it’s the parents who are to blame if their son turns out to be a mommy’s boy, but this is a topic for another book). And then their son gets the chance to become independent. And congratulations to those who succeed! Because, they finally started to become real men. Those who don’t want to leave the comfort of their mother’s breasts, find a new breast, this time around belonging to their partners. And, the story repeats itself, with the difference being that from now on they no longer feed off their parents, but off their new love. You’re able to recognize these ‘boys’ in the way that they’re incapable of doing anything without their dear wives. There, where they’re left, they’ll stand until they come back looking for them. But only at first glance do they look so incapable. In reality, they can do everything on their own, but they do nothing, simply because they’re lazy. These are guys who waste their wives’ money, expect to be given everything, every step of the way, even replacing the empty car battery if necessary. These men play a strange role in their relationship with them, which could best be defined as a cocktail made up of a husband and a son - when it suits them, they’re husbands, and that’s the way they behave. But if they don’t want to do something, they quickly transform themselves into poor sons. Good luck to the women who can handle that. One of the consequences in such a relationship is that the woman doesn’t want or doesn’t dare have any children, because she already has one.
If you’re that kind of prince, I advise you to stop being one, right now. Because a partnership is a two-way responsibility. If you don’t take on your responsibilities, maybe you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Because your wife will soon become exhausted, which is simply not fair on her. So, if you want to continue on having a relationship with her, take on some of the responsibilities (or all of them, since you owe it to her, after all). Simply start doing what you have to do. First look at what needs to be done, and then ask your wife if she needs help. And so, you’ll get a list of things to accept responsibility for. Then, roll up your sleeves and do everything so that they’re all checked off. No one expects you to be perfect. Not even your wife. But the world expects you to do your best. So, try hard every day, and both of you’ll be happy.
Prince no. 3: THE EGOISTICAL SON
These sons are the hardest to recognize because, at first glance, they look like any other. When you look at them, you see a ‘manly man’ who has bought himself the car he drives, who has his own money, and who does what he wants. No one tells him what to do, who he can hang out with and where to go. Least of all, his wife and children. His life is prioritized as follows: he’s the most important, then there’s no one after him, then there are those who admire him, and after them, no one again. At first glance, it seems that a guy like this could easily take care of his own family. If he wanted to, he could. However, his Royal Highness usually does things for others, only when there is some direct benefit for him. If there’s none, then he’s not interested. And, it doesn’t even matter who they are.
So, why is that kind of guy a prince, and not a king? Because, if you want to be a king, you first have to be responsible! Responsible to yourself and responsible to everyone else in your life. One of the main virtues of a king is that he takes care of things in the wider sense of the word, not just himself. Now, if some guy has a partner, children, and a dog in his life, he can’t be a king without taking care of all of them. Even if he himself doesn’t benefit. If he’s not prepared to do that, he’ll always be just some ‘quasi-prince’ who puts to use just a small fraction of the potential he has, while doing his best to show others how important he is, as opposed to who he actually is. Ouch, that hurts, right? As we said earlier, a Hero accepts the truth about himself.
If you’ve just realized that you’re an egotistical prince, you can now decide not to be one anymore. Look what needs to be done in your life, without looking at who’ll benefit. Above all, focus on the bigger picture. And then you’ll soon find a lot of things that need to be done but don’t correlated directly to you. They’ve got to do with the other people in your life. So, don’t just focus on your own well-being, but on the well-being of everyone else too. When you do, the prince in you will slowly say goodbye and be replaced by …. a King.
A KING
A proud ruler that every man wants to become. The owner of a crown. The owner of the sovereign funds. The one who has the last word. And always prevails. The world respects him, and many worship him. A protector. A caregiver. A problem solver. The chief strategist and thinker. A judge. A role-model.
Sounds good, doesn’t it? It seems that all the best descriptions have been used to paint the picture of this man. After all, this is now something that ‘warms the heart’ after having discussed those princes on the previous pages, Finally someone who understands. A man, desired by all women, and Hero to many boys. But now you’ve already noticed that everything has a price. And, even the position of King has its price. So high, that most guys are never able to pay it (even if they take an interest-free loan). That’s why there are so few kings around. They don’t churn them out along a conveyor belt. Quite the opposite - they’re exclusive, unique products made from the finest materials. So valuable, that you can only get to know them, if they allow you to. Because every second of their lives is purposefully devoted to only those things that really matter. So, if princes go out partying and waste their father’s wealth in a big way, the kings are then kept in isolation where they think about …. responsibilities.
Responsibilities? Yuck. Have you ever noticed that the life of the King is not really that much fun? Congratulations on realizing it. But the time has come to also talk about the realizations that will make some men’s lives a little bit worse - we weren’t born to have fun, but to make our lives meaningful. The sooner we understand this, the better off we’ll be. This is something that princes don’t understand. They think the meaning of life is all about fun and having a good time. That’s why they continuously avoid everything which takes that away from them. Where’s the fun in paying the bills? Taking care of the kids? Making sure your employees have everything they need? In renovating your house? In getting your car serviced? In managing investments? In resolving problems? Nothing! However, they do provide a foundation, upon which princes can have fun. Because if someone doesn’t make sure that the car is serviced and paid for, then the prince can’t use it to go to a party. And then he would have to take the bus. Something that a prince can’t even imagine, even in his worst nightmare. And who is that mysterious person, who secretly takes care that the car is serviced, that there’s money in the bank, and that there’s food in the fridge? The King, of course. Because someone has to.
THE EARTH - A PLANET OF KINGS AND QUEENS
The planet, on which we live, is pretty brutal. And life on it is not always easy. If you want to be able to survive on it, you’ll have to continually work, learn, change, and upgrade yourself. Just look at animals - if an antelope wants to survive in the savannah among the lions, it has to be alert at all times. And the whole time, it has to look for food. That’s why it can’t afford to be a carefree prince. Not even for a day. Because if it allowed itself to be like that, then it’d become a dead antelope, and the lions would have themselves an antelope-burger. That’s why the antelope is a king and does everything it needs to, so that life goes on, day after day. ALL animals, all over the world, live in accordance with this principle. Except for man. And all animals are also kings. Except for man.
So now: Do you want to end up an antelope-burger? No. I’ve got good news for you - no one’s going to hunt you (well, except your mother-in-law if you’re a ‘wife’s little boy’ to her daughter). For now. If you’re reading this book, you’ve obviously still got the chance, in time, to become a King, if of course, you’re not one already. Because if you don’t become King, you’ll have a big problem in a few months, or at least in a few years. Because a miserable life will start chasing you. Because as soon as you remove the full refrigerator, the fully-functioning car, your happy family, and developing career …. all that’ll be left will be just some greyness. And, of course, some unpaid bills.
That’s why, my dear Hero, us guys really don’t have a choice. If we want to have a nice life, to have people around us who respect us, to have enough money in our pockets for everything we want …. then we have to take responsibility for it. Period. And for that to happen, we have to stay up all night, from time to time, to do things we don’t want to, to do things a few times over, to learn some new things and to be prepared to change. Maybe, upon reading these words, the idea of preferring to remain a prince came to you, because being a king is obviously too hard. Sadly, I have to disappoint you. The position of a prince is rather short-lived. Because a king or a queen, who finances a prince and solves his problems, will sooner or later realize that they’re being used. Because they’re intelligent. That’s why they’re the King or the queen. And that’s when the story will end. Some call this divorce, others call it being fired from work, while others call it getting cut from their will.
And we’re back to the same point where we were before. That we really don’t have a choice. The only option for men is to become …. kings.
_____
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